Camera pans in on John Baez, strapped in a chair. A maniacal Michael Weiss hovers over him, holding a dentist's drill, whose tip contains, instead a diamond, a gleaming photon. Michael asks with a grating voice that sends phonons racing up and down one's spine (simultaneously):
``Is it real?''
Baez groggily looks around. ``Huh. Most people just post to sci.physics.research and hope for someone to answer, not kidnap the moderator and strap him to a dentist's chair! I know I'm overdue for a checkup, but this is ridiculous. Are you getting back at me for avoiding questions about ontology, or something? Is what real, anyway?''
``Shaddup, wiseguy.'' Weiss clobbers Baez with a cosh.
After a few more bizarre special effects, changes of scene, and a whole lot of dreamy music, Baez wakes up. All he remembers is a question...