By 1985 our business was doing well and was as healthy as I
wanted it to be. The majority of our work was with NASA and
JPL, and that was the way I preferred it. But the workweeks
were long and stressful, now on two fronts: technical products
and business relationships. I was finding out that producing
technical products is much simpler than satisfying business
relationships. I was exhausted by Friday afternoons and we
could feel the pull of another extended excursion coming on.
Our last full summer in Baja had been in 1974, even though we
spent many weeks there every year. In 1975, 1977 and 1978 we
had spent between three and six months each year in Europe and
the U.K. Our first son, Michael, was born in 1977 and was still
under a year when we went to southern Spain to live from April
until November. We rented a small house on a promontory
overlooking the Mediterranean on the Costa del Sol near
Torremolinos, in a village named Benalmadena Pueblo. We spent
six months living the James Mitchner novel The Wanderers. Our
second son, Kevin, was born in 1979. They had each grown up
part of their lives in Baja. By 1985 they were at a perfect age
to learn the many lessons of our favorite peninsula. Kevin was
six; Michael was 8.
There are a too few years in the life of a family where a father
knows the absolute perfection of affection from a small son. A
child's life is filled with emerging trauma. A boy in an
instant outside the parent's eye is hurt and falls, full on his
chest. His consciousness fades for a moment and then realizes
he is alive, but breathless. He gasps, spent, sucking
fulfilling lungs full of air into his tiny body and then lunges
for his father and burrows into the familiar folds of clothing
and flesh. He hides his face to deter the fear that he has
faced. He senses the beating heart, his fathers' blood, his
own, pulsing along the circuitous routes surrounding him, his
fathers' arms, torso, neck. He smells the familiar odors and
the roughness of cheek and salty breath that makes a dad. His
dad. Father is the ultimate protector for only a brief time,
during which there is no distinction between physical, emotional
and intellectual to the child. There is no question of right or
wrong there is just how father does it. These are the years
where the man that is father lives what he has fought for in his
life. It is the fathers' time to pass on to the child what he
believes. He does this by example, rather than words. He is
right. He is correct. The father has the need to tell his son
mostly by example everything he believes; the son will bypass
the intellectual processes that will encumber him in older years
to accept anything acted out by father as truth.
Those years quickly pass. The father is unaware how vacant his
life will be without the boy. The boy grows to become
independent and self-sufficient. The father grows to become old
and insufficient, dependent on the son. The father reflects on
the moments of cuddling warmth with the youth, but it is gone
and cannot be called back except in mind. The father fills his
world with other undertakings but none can ever rival the weight
of the love for and admiration of his children.
Every father dies with the knowledge that he desperately gave
whatever it took to bring his boy all the love and knowledge and
hope that will be required to thread the child through life's
rapids. And every father, when he's gone, leaves behind in the
minds of the children he has loved and nurtured the feeling that
he was not appreciated. But this is not the case, because every
father that has experienced the great love for and of his sons
knows from the first moment of their life that they love him and
will appreciate him later in their lives. The father knows that
it is a mistake to want or expect words of appreciation or
recognition. It will be half a lifetime before the boy begins
to realize the validity of the fathers' words. But age is
wisdom: the father knew before he was gone. He knew the rights
of passage; that the son was not in tune with his words at the
time, but that they will be of value sooner or later.
These thoughts plagued my mind as we dropped the boys at school
every morning and I attended to work. Even though I was luckier
than many parents because I worked at home I still didn't have
the focus I wanted. Mary Ann and I both knew that these next
few years would fly by and then Michael and Kevin would be
grown. We wanted to stop time for a while and spend a summer
with the four of us. This would be a memory to last a lifetime.
And the uncluttered lifestyle of Baja would be the place.
We made plans to leave the day the boy's school got out. Mary
Ann and I realized that some of the risks we had experienced on
previous trips to Baja, while worthwhile, were not chances we
wanted to take with young children. For one thing, the location
of our first hut was less than ideal, which we had learned from
the flash flood. Secondly, we needed a sturdier and
better-organized hut. We also had to consider that both the
boys were light blonds with fair and young skin and needed
protection from the sun.
We spent hours designing and engineering the hut, analyzing
dimensions and materials we would need to build our home for the
summer. We would need something bigger than the original from
1974, which was roughly 10 feet square. We decided on a length
of sixteen feet and a width of eight feet. This would give us
128 square feet in which to cook, eat and sleep. I measured the
cook stove, kerosene lanterns, plates and other kitchen cooking
and eating utensils and made scaled down drawings with proposals
for the shelf space, fruit box cupboards and under-counter
storage of ice chests and mouse proof food stores.
We bought stackable cots that made into bunk beds for the boys
to conserve floor space. We scavenged wooden fruit crates from
the back of our local supermarkets to use as bookcases and
clothing storage. We collected empty five, ten and fifteen
gallon bottles for water and gasoline. We knew the bay had
changed since our last trip, but water and gas were still hard
to come by; ice was more available though and we gave up the
idea of another cumbersome gas refrigerator.
I calculated the number and sizes of wood beams we would need.
I would use four by four's for the uprights and two by four's
the horizontal supports. We were careful to plan an
environmentally correct hut as much as possible. We would
remove everything we had brought after our months on the beach.
Rather than pour concrete to support the uprights, we would bury
them in the sand. For the walls we needed protection from the
sun and a surface that permitted as much air to flow as
possible. The availability of palm fronds was limited in
southern California and I didn't want to wait until we got to
the Bay and scavenge, the boys would need immediate protection
until their fair skin was tanned. We bought numerous rolls of
split bamboo sunshades. These could be raised when not needed
and lowered for the night or to avoid an early morning or late
afternoon slanted sun. If we were lucky enough to get a breeze
they would allow it to pass.
I cut half-inch plywood into rough shapes planned by my scaled
drawings that would approximately serve as shelves and
tabletops. We bought boxes of nails, hundreds of feet of
several types of rope, cans of white gas for the stove and
kerosene for the lanterns. We packed a portable radio/tape deck
and cartons of batteries. We bought one store out of every type
and SPF numbered sun lotion.
Mary Ann met with the Michael and Kevin's teachers and we made
trip after trip to the bookstore, buying cases of books,
educational and fun and fiction children's books for the boys
and an assorted case each for Mary Ann and I. This was going to
be what the doctor ordered; a lot of time to relax and let our
natural lives float back to the surface.
We packed our cloths: shorts, sandals, a single long sleeved
shirt for each of us, to avoid the sun during the first days,
hats. The list of clothing we didn't need was longer than the
items we did.
Aside from these simple items, we were beginning to realize that
this trip was more complex than our last. We finely had to
limit what we each took just from the standpoint of available
space. The old and tired Land Cruiser of prior trips had been
sadly replaced with a 1984 Cruiser wagon. Behind that, to give
us shade until we had finished the hut, we would tow a small
tent trailer. All the building supplies would be stored, out of
sight of Mexican customs, inside the trailer.
Next: Part 2 - In Search of a Beach